THIS ODD FOURSOME WAS BORED. THEY TOOK OFF AND WENT TO THEIR FAVOURITE RESTUARANT. BLISS POULET. YUM YUM YUM. AFTER HARRASSING THE WAITRESS, AND STEALING TOYS OUT OF THE TREASURE BOX, THEY WERE STILL HUNGRY. “WHERE TO GO?” THE MOMMA’S GIRL TITTERED.

“TO MABLE’S BLOB!” THEY ALL SAID IN UNISON, PUMPING A FIST IN THE AIR.

AND THEY DID JUST THAT.

THEY ATE AND ATE ALL OF MABLE’S BLOBS. OF ICE CREAM.

YUM YUM YUM.

“WHERE TO GO, NOW?” YOU-KNOW-WHO TITTERED. AGAIN.

“MOO!”

“SHUT UP GERMAN GIRL. YOU HAVE THE WORST IDEAS.” SAID PLATTSVILLE GIRL.

“HEY I HAVE AN IDEA!” SAID COUNTRY GILR, FLAMBOYANTLY, “TO DORY HATTHEWS FOR A P-A-R-T-A-Y!”

SO OFF THEY SCURRIED IN THEIR HOT LITTLE FORD TAURUS. LISTENING TO THEIR FAVOURITE SONGS AND SINGING IN A WAY THAT MAKES YOU WANT TO THROW UP IN YOUR BOWL OF MELTED MABLE’S BLOBS WAFFLE CONE.

“GOSSIP GOSSIP GOSSIP GOSSIP.” WAS ALL YOU HEARD THE WHOLE WAY THERE.

FINALLY THEY ARRIVED. FIRST THEY STALKED THE HOUSE FOR ROUGHLY 20 MINUTE BEFORE WORKING UP THE COURAGE TO ENTER.

THE PARTY HAD STARTED.

“CRAP.” SAID MOMMA’S GIRL. “I FORGOT TO WRITE MY BLOG FOR MR.SHVETICH.”

SO OFF HER AND COUNTRY GIRL WENT TO DO WHAT HAD TO BE DONE.

NOTE: THIS IS A TRUE STORY.

TV ADS AREEVEN BEING SHOWN TO REMIND PARENTS NOT TO SPANK.

I DON’T REMEMBER EVER GETTING SPANKED…SO IF I WAS IT MUST NOT HAVE DONE TOO MUCH DAMAGE….I THINK I GOT MORE OF THE WHOLE WARNING THING LIKE VICTORIA SAID…”ONE, TWO…” AND I WOULD ALWAYS DO WHAT I WAS TOLD BEFORE MY PARENTS GOT TO THREE!

MOSHE KAI CAVALIN IS JUST TEN YEARS OLD AND HAS ALREADY BEEN IN COLLEGE FOR OVER A YEAR! GENIUS KID I’D SAY. HES STUDYING ADVANCED MATH AND SAYS HE EVENTUALLY WOULD LIKE TO PROVE THE THEORY OF WORMHOLES(ALLOW SPACE TIME TRAVEL).

SORRY WHAT. THAT JUST BLOWS MY MIND THAT SOMEONE SOO YOUNG CAN KNOW SOO MUCH. BUT IF HES THAT SMART NOW…AS YEARS GO ON…WILL HE BECOME EVEN SMARTER AND DO SOMETHING AMAZING WORLD CHANGING IN HIS LIFE?

OR DO YOU THINK THAT MAYBE HE JUST GOT REALLY SMART REALLY FAST AND THATS IT? WILL WE EVER HEAR HIS NAME AGAIN?

THE SIDE OF EVERYONES PLATE CAME WITH A jALAPENO PEPPER. SO OF COURSE, I DARED MY FRIEND TO EAT IT (WE WERE OUT WITH HER YOUTH GROUP). BUT WHAT DOES SHE DO? SHE DARES ME BACK. SO WE HAD TO RIGHT?…THATS THE RULE OF DARING.

SO WE EAT THE PEPPER…AND EVERYTHINGS OK…UNTIL IT STARTS BURNING MY THROAT AND TONGUE. WE START CRYING SO MUCH THAT WE LAUGH. BUT THEN THE LAUGHING STOPS AND WE ARE JUST CRYING. WE DIDNT JUST LICK THE PEPPER OR EAT A FEW SEEDS….WE CHEWED ON THE WHOLE THING.

I HONESTLY DONT THINK I HAVE EVER BEEN IN THAT MUCH PAIN IN MY LIFE. NOTHING HELPED IT: SMOOTHIES, WATER, SODA.

IT PROBABLY DOESNT SEEM LIKE A BIG DEAL BECAUSE MOST OF YOU HAVE HAD A HOT PEPPER…BUT I NEVER HAD!

BUT I HAVE LEARNED THAT I WILL THINK TWICE OR MAYBE THREE TIMES BEFORE I DARE SOMEONE OR TAKE A DARE.

HAVE YOU EVER DONE A STUPID DARE?

EXAMPLE: AT WORK BEING TAUGHT THAT IF SOMEONE WAS TO EVER COME TO MY TILL DEMANDING MONEY I SHOULD NOT ARGUE JUST GIVE IT TO THEM…..IM SECRETLY THINKING THAT WOULD BE KINDA COOL IF THAT HAPPEND TO ME (AN NO ONE GOT HURT OBVS.)…WHY THOUGH? PROBABLY IT WOULD “MAKE A GOOD STORY”…I KNOW…THAT SOUNDS REALLY TWISTED…BUT ITS TRUE.

I OBVIOULSY WOULD NEVER WANT SOMETHING TO HAPPEN WHERE MYSELF OR SOMEONE WOULD EVER BE INJURED…BUT I JUST WANT SOMETHING TO TALK ABOUT.

OR EVEN LIKE BEING AT HOME AND HEARING SOMETHING..AND ITS A BURGLAR! HAAH. BUT I SCARE HIM OR HER AWAY. AND I ALWAYS THINK THAT I AM TOUGH AND CAN HANDLE IT. MY FRIEND CASSIE DROPPED ME OFF LATE ONE NIGHT AND WERE TALKING ABOUT WHAT IT WOULD BE LIKE IF SOMEONE GRABBED US! AND WE BOTH THOUGHT WE WOULD BE TOUGH ENOUGH TO DEFEND OURSELVES! WERE DUMB! NO WE WOULD NOT…..BUT WE JUST THINK THAT.

I THINK I WATCH TOO MUCH TV. OR I HAVE A CRAZY OBBSESSION WITH CRIME!

I HOPE IM NOT THE ONLY ONE LIKE THIS.

THAT WOULD BE AWKWARD…

” She’s fabulous, but she’s evil.”

“I’m sorry that people are so jealous of me… but I can’t help it that I’m so popular.”

” And I want my pink shirt back! I want my pink shirt back ” Your face smells like peppermint!”
“Taylor Zimmermann, two for you. Glenn Coco? FOUR for you, Glenn Coco! You go, Glenn Coco. And uh…”Caddy” Heron. Do we have a “Caddy” Heron here? “

“Alyssa, I’m sorry I called you a gap-toothed bitch. Is not your fault you’re so gap-toothed.”

“Hell, no. I did NOT leave the South Side for this!”

“Gretchen, I’m sorry I laughed at you that time you got diarrhea at Barnes & Nobles….and im sorry for telling everyone…and im sorry for repeating it now”

“Oh, God, honey, no! What kind of mother do you think I am? Why, do you want a little bit? Because if you’re going to drink I’d rather you do it in the house. “

“There’s a 30% chance that it’s already raining!”

“If you’re from Africa, why are you white? “

“I can’t go to taco bell, I’m on an all-carb diet. GOD Karen you’re so STUPID! “

“Oh, you’ll get socialized all right, a little slice like you”

“Did your teacher ever try to sell you marijuana or ecstasy tablets?”….”what are marijunana tablets?”

“That is so fetch!” 

“What? He’s a good kisser”……”hes your cousin”

“why should Caesar get to stomp around while the rest of us try not to get smushed under his BIG FEET. whats so great about caeser hmm?? brutis is just as smart as caeser, brutis is just as cute as caesar. people totally like brutis as much as they like caesar. when did become okay for one person to be the boss of everybody!? thats not what Romes about…we should totally just STAB CAESAR!”

“I just want you to know, if you ever need anything, don’t be shy, OK? There are NO rules in the house. I’m not like a REGULAR  mom, I’m a COOL mom. “

“Frenemies are enemies who act like friends. We call them “frenemies”. “

“Or friends who secretly hate you, we call them “fraitors”. “

….IT’S A FLOOD THING EH!  

ALTHOUGH I AGREE THAT IT IS RIDICULOUS THAT THEY PICTURES OF A LITTLE BOY WHO IS JUST FAMOUS BECAUSE OF HIS PARENTS. I LOVE KATE HUDSON, BUT DIDN’T SHE KIND OF SIGN UP FOR THAT? SHES FAMOUS AND SHE KNOWS THAT PEOPLE  WILL BE TAKING PICTURES OF HERSELF AND ANYONE ASSOCIATED WITH HER.

KATE GREW UP WITH FAMOUS PARENTS..AND WAS PHOTOGRAPHED AND WELL KNOWN GROWING UP….SO SHE OF ALL PEOPLE SHOULD KNOW THAT THE SAME IS GOING TO HAPPEN TO HER SON IF SHE CONTINUES IN THE SAME PATH AS HER MOTHER…..